It’s October and nearly Halloween, and this year, I’m thinking a lot about witches. People tend to think of witches as evil but I love stories that reclaim witches and allow them to be good, strong and powerful. Why must a woman who practices magic be considered evil? Is the idea of the evil witch in the woods just another tool for controlling women, keeping them in line and fitting into the patriarchy’s mold? Let’s save the witches from patriarchal stereotypes because bitches love witches.

In this episode, I discuss stories I’ve enjoyed that feature witches who break out of the stereotype of witches as evil crones. The classic wicked witch is the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz, but Gregory Maguire gives us a more complicated “heroine” in his book Wicked, and then the musical Wicked fully redeems Elphaba.

Other witchy books I’ve recently enjoyed and highly recommend:

• VenCo by Cherie Dimaline
• The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
• Her Majesty’s Royal Coven, by Juno Dawnson
• The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow 

This week, I explore the question, Why do women love true crime? I myself listen to true crime podcasts and often wonder, Why do I love listening to these stories? And perhaps, more importantly: does my interest in true crime suggest some sort of moral deficiency on my part?

Here are the reasons I discuss on Episode 39 of Adventures With My Forties:

• Catharsis: True crime stories address our fears of what could happen and rage for what has been done. We get to tap into our feelings of suppressed rage and fear.
• The village of women coming together: Violent crimes are mostly committed against women. True crime stories allow us to shine light on this darkness and bond against the creeps and monsters.
• Empathy: Women are empathetic and connect with the victim. But also, I try to fathom how the culprit went from “an innocent baby” to a “monster who could commit such heinous crimes.”
• Collective search for justice: If we work together and share information, we can bring these monsters to justice and hopefully persuade would-be-killers that it’s too dangerous to commit these crimes. We are watching! We are not afraid to turn you in! . 
• Subliminal feeling of evading death: I don’t think this reason explains why I listen to true crime podcasts, but this might resonate with you.
• Vicarious thrill: Ditto. I prefer to get my thrills on rollercoasters, thank you very much.
• Police accountability: Do your job! Protect the victims!
• Helping police: Police have limited resources and tips solve crimes.
• Reminder to be vigilant: Sometimes you have to be rude to creepy people and defy social norms when your gut is telling you that a situation is off. Just last night, I taught this lesson to my daughter. We were leaving a Girl Scout event at 9:30 p.m. in an unincorporated neighborhood without street lights and someone was sleeping on the parkway near our car. Pippa commented that she felt bad walking away from the person, and I gave her a pep talk, telling her that our safety is more important than a stranger’s feelings. True crime podcasts remind me all the things I need to teach my daughter to navigate the world safely as a woman.

So why do I, a forty-four-year old woman, listen to true crime podcasts? Because, for all the reasons listed above, it’s empowering. Lots of people think its weird or morbid that women enjoy true crime–I wonder what those same people think about men who participate in Civil War reenactments? If it’s important to study war in history classes, then it’s also important to study violent crimes that are predominantly committed against women so we can grow stronger and reduce these crimes as much as possible. We tell these stories not for lurid entertainment but to crush conduct that is unacceptable.

Currently, my favorite true crime podcast is Crime Junkie. Recently, I’ve also enjoyed Scamanda and The Girlfriends. I have no plans to launch a true crime podcast of my own — but who knows? Crazier things have happened.

I did it! This morning, I finished revising my second novel, Once Upon An Anxious Mom. I’ve officially entered the homestretch for publication!

Here’s my plan:

• I’m on Official Writing Break for three and a half weeks.
• After my break, I’ll reread my editor’s memo and see if I missed any big revisions she suggested. (I don’t think I did, but I might understand something better when my brain is fresh.)
• I’ll format the text messages and emails in the novel.
• Then I’ll read the book out loud, slowly, and proofread as I go.
• If I like what I read, I’ll upload to Vellum and format for publication.
• Then I’ll upload my files to Amazon and order an author’s copy of the paperback. I’ll read my novel in book form and seek out any proofreading buggers I missed.
• And that’s it! I’ll publish!

It feels so good to be on writing break after pouring myself into revisions. So what am I going to do for the next three and a half weeks?

Obviously, I won’t write. That part of my brain needs to rest and recharge. I will, however, write in my journal because that is more of a mental health practice than a writing exercise (and if I stopped journaling for three+ weeks, I’d go bat shit). I will probably also blog, because that organizes my thoughts and helps me relax. Like journaling, blogging uses a different part of my brain than “the serious pretentious business of novel writing.” (I’m making fun of myself there, if that’s not abundantly clear. I honestly don’t know if my self-deprecating humor is coming through because my brain is tired!)

I’ll let my brain rest and recharge by doing things that don’t use my Novel Writing Brain Cells. These are my schemes and ambitions:

• Declutter, Deep Clean the House and Garden. If I only do one thing during the next three+ weeks, let it be this. Spoiler alert: if I blog, it will be about my work to reclaim the house.
• Enjoy Time With Family and Friends. It’s October! Halloween is coming, and Julian’s birthday is November 2. Tomorrow, I’m taking the kids to Universal Studios. On November 2, we are surprising the kids with a trip to California Adventure. Then we have the school carnival, Girl Scout pumpkin patch, trick-or-treating, etc. etc. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN DAMNIT!
• Prep For The Holidays and Julian’s Birthday Party. Order party supplies and decorations. Get birthday and Christmas gifts. Maybe design a Christmas card? I’ll make a Holiday Plan Of Attack next week and see what I can get done early so I can soak up the holidays with my family and friends.
• Record A Few Podcast Episodes. If the spirit moves me.
• Get yarn and start crocheting Christmas stockings for the kids.
• Learn how to use Midjourney. Work on designing the cover for Once Upon An Anxious Mom. See if AI helps.
• Bake. Bread. Cookies. Cake. Repeat.
• Paint. Maybe something abstract in a sketch book. Or maybe the kitchen chairs. This isn’t a priority. Decluttering and deep cleaning is.

If I finish decluttering and deep cleaning, I will take myself on an artist date or two. See a movie. But if that doesn’t happen, I’ll save those activities for the next writing break.

I am nearly done revising my second novel, Once Upon An Anxious Mom, and now my baby needs a cover. This will be my fourth published book, and I feel comfortable designing my cover.

For my first book, Adventures With Postpartum Depression, I hired a cover designer on Reedsy. This was 2018, and I paid $805 for this design:

I love this cover! It perfectly expresses the vibe of my memoir, and it was totally worth the expense. At the time, I had a two-year-old and five-year-old and lacked the bandwidth to attempt my own design.

But for my second book, The Distance Learning Activity Book For Parents Just Barely Holding On To Their Last Shred of Sanity, I didn’t want to spend $805 for a cover. I played around on Canva and posted my designs on Facebook; hated everything; tried again but this time only sent my designs to a trusted friend; and hit upon the winner.

I love this cover! And it was free, except for the cost of my monthly subscription to Canva Pro. (And really, I could have designed the cover without Canva Pro, but I used the premium subscription to create the book’s content.)

For my first novel, Confessions of an Imposter Room Mom, I debated whether I would hire a cover designer through Reedsy or use Canva to design something myself. Ultimately, I decided I didn’t want to shell out big bucks for a cover until I’ve published several books in my series. Then, I can hire a professional to design covers for the entire series in one swoop for a cohesive look.

But I didn’t trust myself to design a novel’s cover! So I compromised and hired someone on Fiverr. I paid someone about $25 and three days later, I had several shitty designs. Lesson learned. You get what you pay for, and $25 gets about five minutes attention from a book cover designer.

I returned to Canva and with the advice of my one trusted friend, I designed my own cover again.

And you know what? I love it! It completely captures the feeling of that novel and it’s good enough for now.

Now it’s nearly time to publish the second book in that series, so I’m rolling up my sleeves and diving back into Canva, but this time, I’m leveling up my game with AI.

That’s right. I’ll be enlisting our robot overloads to help me design a bitching cover. I might not use AI-generated images, but when I go on writing break, I plan to play around with Midjourney and hopefully create some images that I can incorporate into the cover. I’ll probably design the final product on Canva and bounce ideas off my trusted friend. Stay tuned!

1. My kids always come home with excessive amounts of homework on days they have soccer practice.
2. Both my kids want my help and it’s a real bitch flip-flopping between second grade math and fifth grade social studies.
3. Plus they changed math.
4. How do we go through so many pencils?
5. The neighbors across the street are homeschooling, so while my kids trudge through the homework grind, the kids across the street are frolicking and laughing loudly.
6. I cannot empathize how much I hate second grade math.
7. My son’s teacher sends home a weekly packet and so help me god, there are always extra pages during a four-day week.
8. Research shows that elementary school homework has no academic benefit to kids. So that’s great.
9. Kids need downtime, not busywork.
10. I think my second grader learns more from Minecraft than he does from the shitty math worksheets created by the shitty math textbook our district uses.