I just finished a truly bitching parenting book: How To Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap And Prepare Your Kid For Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims. It inspired me so much, I had to dedicate an entire episode to its lessons.
Some of my take-away points from the book:
- My parenting goal has often been to raise “happy and healthy kids.” But this actually places an unfair burden on my kids! It sends the message that they need to be happy in order for me to be happy. But that’s not a realistic or desirable human experience! People aren’t happy all the time, and I don’t want to deprive my children of meaningful life experiences – some of which will be challenging and make them feel a whole mess of emotions. Let them be sad! Let them be angry! My kids don’t need to live in a state of constant happiness.
- Chores matter. I will be increasing my kids’ chores over the next several months.
- The world is not as scary as the evening news would lead us to believe. I am trying to do better on this front and let my kids play outside unsupervised. We are all happier for it.
- There is more to childhood than a college arms race.
- Children are wildflowers, not bonsai trees.
I loved loved LOVED this book and highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. I try to not read too many parenting books, but this one is going in my pantheon of parenting classics. (Did I just use the word “pantheon” correctly? Eh, it sounds good!)
I also mentioned my recent obsession with TikTok. These are my various handles (I warned you, I’m obsessed.)
- @courtneyhenningnovak: this is where I mostly talk about mothering shit
- @courtneys_wellness_show: this started out as something with a different name, and was all about my efforts to lose weight. I pivoted today and gave it a new name and new focus.
- @novak_home_channel: new channel to document Operation: Reclaim the House. Currently in Phase One: Declutter All the Shit.
- @courtneyshikingchannel: hiking. Which I want to do more of.
- @hamstycam: because our hamster needed a show. Duh.