A little over two weeks ago, my dad had emergency brain surgery and then spent a week and a half in the ICU before having another brain surgery. At least the second procedure was scheduled! He’s doing well and his prognosis is excellent, but it sounds like he needs at least one more brain surgery. Needless to say, this has been a stressful time for my family.

Very soon after my dad’s emergency brain surgery, I caught myself thinking, Shit, I guess I’m going to gain weight now. The following inner monologue ensued:

Me: But I don’t want to gain weight.

Also Me: Yeah but this is how I cope with stress. By eating.

Me: I could change that.

Also me: Nah, let’s have ice cream.

Me: No, I’m serious. I don’t want to use food to cope with my stress anymore.

Also me: [stunned into silence]

Me: I’m going to figure out some other ways to manage my stress.

Also me: So… no ice cream?

Me: Oh we can still have ice cream. For sure. But we’re not going to use an avalanche of ice cream to numb the stress, ok?

Also me: Let me get this straight. We’re going to sometimes have ice cream, because ice cream is amazing, but we’re not going to use ice cream to numb our stress?

Me: Correct.

When I got home from the hospital that day, I was exhausted but determined to find new ways to manage my stress. And you know what? I’ve been coping very well and I’m not using food as an emotional crutch. Silver linings! Instead, I’m using all sorts of other ways to reduce my stress levels, including:

1. Intense Cardio: I was traveling from Santa Monica to Pasadena on school days when my dad was in the ICU, leaving not much time for exercise, so I downloaded the Seven App, which has 7 minute workouts that get my heart pounding. Immediate mood boost.
2. Meditation: I’m using the Balance app (free ONE YEAR trial!) and loving it. It’s my current favorite way to meditate. I started with five minute sessions and now do a daily 10 minute session. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t have the time to meditate, but really, I don’t have the time to NOT meditate. I feel so much better after each session.
3. Fun Movements. I love therapist Tiffany Roe and bought her Feel Deal Heal COPING SKILLS deck at the beginning of this ordeal. I have only looked at a few cards so far. All of have them been helpful, but my favorite is the one that recommends novel movement. At the hospital, there was a little hallway outside the women’s restroom and whenever I was there alone, I did a quick dance move or a few karate chops and kicks. These novel movements really helped me stay in good spirits for my dad.
4. Journaling, so I can do a brain dump and write affirmations and recenter myself.
5. Face Masks. I have a tendency to be busy-busy-busy, go-go-go, and this wasn’t working for me. So twice a week, I apply a thick face mask and read in bed while moisturizing my face.
6. Fresh Air When Possible.
7. Hot Yoga. I’ve gone as often as possible. While my dad was in the ICU, I took a couple days off and my only priority was GET MY ASS TO HOT YOGA AND SWEAT OUT THE CRAZY. It helps. It really, really helps.
8. Cleaning. Not so much that I wear myself out but wiping down counters really helps me calm down. Especially if I’m listening to a good audiobook. And that feeling I get when I’ve completely cleaned a room? Priceless.
9. Knitting. Have needles, will travel. I knit several inches of a baby blanket in the ICU and hospital cafeteria.

These things are keeping my stress within manageable limits, but I think my internal decision to not use food to numb my stress has really helped me handle my dad’s emergency brain surgery in ways that are best for me.

I enjoyed my 22 in ’22 projects so much, I’m doing it again in 2023! (I first got the idea for 22 in ’22 from the podcast Happier, which I highly recommend.) I enjoy seeing what projects actually stick and what projects get left by the wayside. Here’s what I did in January:

1. Attend fifty hot yoga classes: I made it to four classes, which was great because (1) the kids were home the first week of January for their winter break and (2) I got my period TWICE and I just don’t like doing hot yoga when I’m menstruating. (If that is TMI for you, spoiler alert: this entire website is TMI for you.)
2. Track what I eat for 30 days in a row: I did it! I tracked what I ate from January 1-30, and I loved doing it. Now I’m continuing the streak. Can I make it to 60 days? I believe so!
3. Drink at least 64 oz of water/day for 30 days in a row: I did this too! My skin feels healthier. I’m still tracking how much water I drink because I love soda and coffee so much, it’s easy for me to forget to drink water. Tracking keeps me honest.
4. Publish my second novel: Revisions are coming along very well, and I expect I’ll be ready to flip my manuscript to an editor by the end of March.
5. Read 100 books for myself: As of today, I’ve read eight books and Goodreads says I’m on track to read 100 by the end of the year.
6. Try 23 new recipes: I tried three new recipes in January, two from the new Smitten Kitchen cookbook and one from Tuesday Nights, one of my go-to cookbooks.
7. Cook with mushrooms 23 times: I cooked with mushrooms twice in January – yes!
8. Bake 23 loaves of bread: I have not yet baked any bread this year. Maybe I’ll find the momentum to do this when my book is with my editor.
9. Make 23 different buttons with my button maker: I made one button as an example for Julian’s first grade class for an art project.
10. Finish 23 craft projects (not including buttons): Nothing yet, but several slower projects in the works, including my first embroidery sampler, a baby blanket that I’m knitting, and a cross stitch project.
11. Watch 12 different Creativebug classes: I watched the daily embroidery class and loved it.
12. Draw 12 times: I drew two times in January and both times were fun and relaxing.
13. Play 23 different board/card games: I played six different games with the kids in January. They know about this project and approve highly. So far, I’ve played Sleeping Queens, Uno, Race to the Treasure, Battleship, Ticket to Ride and Purple Castle Peak. The last is a game my kids invented, and it’s still being workshopped. You won’t see it in stores anytime soon.
14. Watch 23 movies with my kids: We went to see Puss in Boots: The Last Wish at our favorite discount theater, and the entire family loved it. I suspect this project will be mostly completed over summer vacation.
15. Write 23 blog posts: This is my third of the year. I’m on track!
16. Visit 23 new places: I visited three new places in January – the new Amazon Fresh store in Pasadena; a new school gym for Pippa’s first basketball game (it has a balcony for parents); and at Universal Studios, a new segment on the tram ride for the movie NOPE. Going to new places is an easy way to boost my soul’s joy levels, but I often forget to venture beyond my rut. I’m so glad I included “Visit 23 new places” in my 23 in ’23 Project, because I check in with the project frequently, and it reminds me to go out and explore this glorious world.
17. Go on 12 hikes: Pippa and I went on a mommy-daughter hike at Eaton Canyon. I’ve done this hike at least a half dozen times, but we went after the rain, and the streams were deeper than I’ve ever seen. Pippa LOVED it. Our shoes were soaked by the end, but we made it to the waterfall, and I can’t wait to hike again.
18. Do 23 things I have never done before: I did five different new things in January: I bought passes to Universal Studios for me and the kids; shopped at Amazon Fresh with the “just walk out” technology; during hot yoga, I flipped my towel off my mat for a few poses; I organized a Girl Scout field trip; and we met up with friends at Universal Studios. Did I do anything crazy like sky dive or walk in outer space? Heck no. But I did experience a mental shift that I plan to write about in future posts.
19. Finish decluttering the house! A work in progress, with not much progress in January. I will devote a week to this endeavor when my book is with my editor.
20. Indulge my inner child 23 times: I consciously indulged my inner child twice: by buying passes to Universal Studios (so! much! fun!) and by splashing through a creek during my hike with Pippa.
21. Publish 12 podcast episodes: I recorded a podcast episode earlier this week for a different show and I definitely feel the urge to podcast increasing. It’s just hard to crank out episodes when I’m deep in novel revisions.
22. Attend 12 live performances: I saw our school district’s production of Into the Woods at the Pasadena Convention Center with Julian. We only stayed for the first act because after ninety minutes of musical theater, he was getting hangry and restless, but my soul was full and I loved every minute that I got to see. This was the first time I saw a high school production since I myself was in high school, and it was so endearing.
23. Spend 20 hours gardening: I spent 1 hour and 20 minutes gardening in January during two separate sessions. So good for the soul!

Onward! February will be fast — not only is it short, but I’m also running the school book fair – but I hope to make more progress on my 23 in ’23 projects. Stay tuned!