Life Currently:
- Pippa is in week 2 of hybrid school. As of the time that I am writing these show notes, she has been to four whole days of in-person school as a second grader. Poor kid has to haul so much stuff to school that I got her a rolling backpack.
- I have to keep reminding myself that this is hard and I’m burned out.
- We got Mario Kart set up on our Nintendo Switch and it is so! much! fun! I might not watch television again in 2021. I’d rather be playing Mario Kart.
And now, mirrors!
I started thinking about mirrors while reading The Push by Ashley Audrain. The book is about a mother who becomes convinced that something is wrong with her daughter — she doesn’t behave like other children — but her husband insists it is all in her head. The more her husband dismisses her fears, the more Blythe questions her sanity. (By the way, I was only halfway done with the book at the time of recording this episode, but I finished it yesterday and I decided it merited five out of five stars on Goodreads.)
As I listened to the audiobook, I found myself wondering if the main character had postpartum depression. Then I realized that I was inclined to think she had PPD because of my personal postpartum experiences. That got me to wondering about how other readers would interpret Blythe’s experience. A reader with marital issues might think The Push is a book about a marriage. A feminist reader might think this book exemplifies the way the patriarchy makes women think they are losing their minds. The book acts as a mirror for our personal experiences.
Art does this. I know, I know, I’m stating the obvious. But as a mom with a brain drained by distance learning, this feels like a revelation. When I am reading a book, or looking at a painting, or watching a television show, my reaction to that art clues me into the way I see the world. Then I can root out my biases and explore my beliefs and figure out more of the inner work I need to do. Pretty bitching!
Dreams are also excellent mirrors. During my last therapy session way back in September 2020, my therapist told me, “Pay attention to your dreams!” I have been doing just that, and my dreams regularly reveal insights and thoughts that guide my inner work.
The night before I recorded this podcast episode, I dreamed that my family was on a road trip and we stopped at an ice skating rink. We had to wait for the rink to be serviced. We were so excited to go ice skating! When we were finally allowed on the ice, I found that it was melting and cracking. The ice on the far end of the rink was breaking and people were falling into water. I was separated from my family so I skated to the exit and I was so relieved when Nathan and the kids got off the rink, dry and safe. We were disappointed that the rink had collapsed but we decided to continue our road trip.
I wrote about this dream in my journal. What did it mean? What message was my subconscious sending? I decided the ice represented expectations and its cracking represented how my expectations often crack beneath the weight of reality. Is my interpretation of my dream right? Who cares! The point is that the interpretation resonated with me, and my dream successfully mirrored back work I need to do. I need to work on releasing my expectations and continue the road trip of life when reality crushes my expectations.
Other people also act as mirrors for my inner work, especially people who annoy me. Byron Katie talks about this extensively in her work. I highly recommend her books and podcast.
Finally, I mentioned at the end of the episode that signs can act as mirrors for our inner work. Pay attention to the things you notice. Your subconscious or the Universe (whatever floats your boat) is trying to get your attention. If you keep noticing something, ask yourself why. The answers might surprise you.