Is the pandemic over? Fuck if I know.

Will the 2021-22 school year be normal? Fuck if I know.

Is California done with shutdowns? Fuck. If. I. Know.

But I do know one thing: I am ready to heal from the pandemic, even if there is more trauma ahead. So how the hell do I do that?

Spoiler alert: I don’t know. It’s not like I can go to the library and check out Pandemic Healing for Dummies or The Idiot’s Guide to Healing After A Year Of Soul-Crushing Distance Learning.

However, I know that my first step to healing is simple:

• Pay Attention, and
• Get Super Curious About My Need to Heal

I first encountered this concept in The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. To be honest, when I first read about it, it struck me as total bullshit. But then I started applying the idea to various issues in my life, especially my bad habit of screaming at my kids, and I noticed profound, lasting challenge. Paying Attention and Being Curious is the tool I return to again and again. It’s the tool I’m going to use all summer to heal from the pandemic.

I do not know exactly how my healing journey will progress. I imagine that what feels right now in mid-June will be different from what feels right in early July, mid July, late July, etc. But these are my initial thoughts on healing:

• Fun and Play: Having fun and playing are essential to my mental health. I suspect they will be essential to my healing from the pandemic as well. I love bowling and video games, so this summer is going to involve a lot of bowling and Chuck E. Cheese outings with my kids. For more thoughts on fun, check out the May 31, 2021 episode on Glennon Doyle’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things.
• Go to Different Places: When I get into a rut and keep going to the same places, my soul gets into a rut as well. I get bored and feel depression creeping into my soul. This summer, I aim to visit a mix of places that were closed during the pandemic and places totally new to me and my kids. Maybe I will even take some solo field trips. Yes, I think that’s a grand idea!
• The Pool: we have a pool. Water is therapeutic. I am going to use the pool an ass shit ton.
• Getting Outside, Especially Into Nature: Pasadena gets Hot AF, but being outside makes me feel like a better human. Hello, beach days!
• Lavish Self-Care: This past weekend, I got my first massage since February 2020 and it was fucking glorious. I need more of that glory. Also I want a facial! Now that I’m vaccinated, I am excited to have someone hover above my face and poke at my pores.
• Declutter: I just love getting unnecessary shit out of the house. It’s so cathartic but I didn’t keep up with our decluttering the past 15 months because I prioritized my writing. I’m glad I prioritized my writing but now I’m aching to prioritize decluttering. In fact, I want to abandon these show notes right now and declutter some shit, but I love you, so I’m going to finish the show notes, m’kay?
• Crafting: J’aime crafting. For me, it’s a form of play.
• Humor! Spoiler alert: All the TikTok.
• Projects: Because I love projects. But also, I want to keep them manageable. There’s a fine line between “yay, projects!” and “fuck, this project is stressing me out!” I’m pondering a few projects, especially visiting all our branch libraries. Nothing big. Small and slow feels good.
• Exercise: Exercise makes me feel alive! But also, I want to be gentle with myself this summer. I’m aiming to do a bunch of Obe classes when possible while releasing my goal of walking 12,000 steps/day. With the summer heat and Julian’s short preschool camp days, it’s just not realistic.

Okay, now I can go do some decluttering! [insert evil laugh as I head for the toy closet]