Under the best of circumstances, parenting is tough. Add in a pandemic and some distance learning? Holy sh*t. At the beginning of the pandemic, I wished there was a “Guide to Parenting During A Historic Pandemic” that would help me navigate these stormy times. But the more I reflect on it, the more I realize that the parenting principles that helped me stay sane pre-pandemic also help me stay sane in 2020. In this episode, which is Part 1 of 2, I dive into the principles that are guiding my adventures with pandemic parenting. 

These are the parenting principles I discussed this week:

• Don’t compare your kid to other kids. Kids are people and people are unique. When I fall into the comparison trap, I always compare my kids tougher traits to another kid’s “easier” traits. I don’t compare the way my kids are awesome to other kids. Don’t beat yourself up about this. It is a common human tendency to dwell on the negative.
• On the same note, don’t compare yourself to other parents. We all have different superpowers, different issues, different ways of coping, different life experiences, and different present circumstances. Your style of parenting is going to be as unique as you and your kids are.
• Modeling works better than lecturing. Show, don’t tell.
• You’re not alone. This pandemic is tough for just about 100% of parents.
• Honor your intuition. I talk about intuition in Episode 8. You have to trust yourself and what works for you and your kids and your family during these unprecedented times!
• Follow your kids’ lead. They are less messed up by society, marketing, and the patriarchy than we are. They know what they need.
• But honor your boundaries. You don’t have to sit with a child in your lap in a way that’s uncomfortable just because that is how you child wants to snuggle. You don’t have to play make believe for hours on end just because that is what your child wants. If you always give in to what your child wants, how will they learn how to treat other people? How to endure boredom?
• YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES! My kids are entitled to my mistakes. If I’m perfect, holy shit, that is setting an impossibly high standard for them.
• The obstacle is the way.
• Don’t take things personally.
• Abundance, over scarcity.
• Shame needs secrecy. So if something during this experience is making you feel shame, share that shit. Are you yelling more? Share with your friends. Are you allowing all the screen time? Share that shit as well!

And I’ll be sharing more helpful parenting principles soon in Episode 11!