In my last post, I wrote about feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable about racism. Part of me wants to delete that post. It’s embarrassing because when people are scared for their lives and the lives of their children, who gives a shit about my discomfort?

But I am going to leave the post published, for now at least, because I am a writer and writing is how I figure things out. And for better or worse, I feel called to share my journey and personal work on this blog. That work used to be mostly about motherhood and mental health. Now it has expanded to include learning about racism and anti-racism.

I do not want to write too much about racism and anti-racism today because right now, my job is to listen and learn. I am going to read books about racism because I always learn best from books. I have started with the audiobook for So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo.

I have listened to the first five chapters and it’s been a great introduction to the things I need to learn. I wish I had the actual book so I could share some quotes, but it’s been an excellent audiobook during my morning walk. I only listen to about 30 minutes at a time. After that, my brain is full and I need to listen to music so I can process what I have learned.

I also started following some new accounts on Instagram as well: @moemotivate, @iamrachelricketts, @laylafsaad, @mireillecharper, @thedailyshow, @ibramxk, @austinchanning, and @ijeomaoluo.

There are some podcasts on my radar, but I have been busy with the audiobook. I’ll share as I listen to those in the coming weeks.

Less than two weeks ago, I thought it was enough to not be racist. I am starting to see, more and more, that I was wrong. I am also quickly learning that when it comes to talking and writing about race, I am not very articulate. I have avoided these conversations and discussions because they make me feel awkward. Now I am seeing it is okay to feel awkward but it is not okay to stay in my white privileged bubble.