In my last post, I wrote about how I was taking stock of all that I did in 2019 and making some plans and goals for 2020. Then I got sucked into the holiday madness and was too busy addressing holiday cards to write another blog post. But now I’m back and ready to reflect more deeply on 2019. So let’s do this!

Writing: I wrote in my journal almost every day and worked on the first book of my fantasy series as much as possible. I am about halfway finished with the rough draft and very happy with the progress.

Motherhood: I still sometimes yell at my kids, but I am yelling a lot less than I did in 2018. I am hopeful that one of these days, I’ll wake up and realize it has been months since I yelled at my kids (unless I’m cheering from the soccer sidelines or yelling at them to get out of the street). My patience muscle has definitely gotten stronger. I am learning that when I have an issue with my kids, I have to change myself rather than nag and admonish them to change. Overall, I feel like I have become an even better mother than I was in 2018.

Mental and Emotional Health: I returned to therapy and saw my therapist once or twice each month. Thank goodness for flexible therapists! I am getting better at feeling my feelings (instead of drowning them with sugar) and I’m listening to my feelings’ messages and using those messages to improve the way I live my life.

Bookworm: I set a goal to read 100 books in 2019 and as of the time I am writing this, I have read 103!

Challenges: Wow, 2019 had its fair share of challenges. Julian’s school had to close for six months after asbestos contamination; a little girl drowned at Pippa’s camp and my heart just broke; and then our school district closed several elementary schools due to low enrollment and for several weeks, it seemed like Pippa’s school was going to be closed. These challenges forced me to reckon with the reality of uncertainty and forced me to do a lot of growing up. It was like boot camp (a six month long boot camp) for my soul. It was good. But damn, I hope 2020 is a little more boring. I could use a good rut.

Exercise: I started the year with a goal of walking an average of 10,000 steps/day. As of December 27, I have averaged 10,684 steps/day. Mission accomplished! I can spend the next week in bed, and I will still hit my goal. I also stretched nearly every day and started attending Hot Yoga classes in mid-September.

The Food Front: Some people smoke. Others drink too much. My battleground is food. That’s okay. Everyone has their struggle. Anyway, after asbestos closed Julian’s preschool, I started eating and eating and eating and gained 20 pounds in like five minutes. But I recognized what I was doing. I hit the Pause Button. I read Atomic Habits and learned lots of ideas to change my eating habits. I started tracking the foods I eat. I quit soda in October. I drastically reduced my refined sugar intake. And now, even with the holidays, I have managed to lose a few pounds in December. I am ready to transform my relationship with food in 2020!

Shoulder Pain: My shoulder went out on January 13. I remember the date well because it was the day after I turned 40 and felt like a cosmic joke. I suffered with the pain for months but started seeing an osteopath during the summer and now my shoulder pain is almost completely gone. I spent a lot of time taking care of my shoulder in 2019 but it was worth it.

Aquarium: We have an aquarium! With three fish! Three fish have died! But three still live!

Trips: We went to Las Vegas for the annual Henning Family Reunion and then Nebraska for nine days to visit Nathan’s family. I love Pasadena but it’s good to get away.

Decluttering: Huge progress on this front. I cleared out my clothes and now only have clothes I like to wear. Same with the kids’ clothes. I went through our books and donated bags and bags of books to Goodwill. In November, we got a new couch and needed to have professionals haul it away (because it was absolutely disgusting and though we left it on the street for a week, no one was interested in a free disgusting couch). So while we had the professionals coming, Nathan and I gutted our garage and basement and got rid of so much crap. I love decluttering!

Whew, that’s enough for 2019! Of course there was a ton more that happened, but if I try to capture it all in a blog post, I’ll miss half of 2020. I feel like I am ending the year more authentic, more resilient and more magical than I began it. Sometimes, being a stay at home mom, it can feel like all I do is deal with dirty dishes and laundry. But looking back, I can see just how far I came. And now, onward to 2020!