That’s the title of the book I need to read, right now, but I don’t think it’s been written. Damnit. Maybe I should start writing it now while I’m in the potty training trenches with Julian?

(Except as much as potty training is my story, it’s also Julian’s story, and I don’t want to publish a book that is literally about his poop, pee and penis.)

I have resented potty training and kept wishing that Julian was one of those children who magically trained himself. Yet the difficulties are actually good. I am learning so much during this poop-ridden adventure. For example:

• There is no single right way to potty train. Just as there is no single right way to parent. (How many more times will I have to learn this lesson. Approximately one thousand billion more times.)
• You have to do what works for you child. Not what works for your friend’s child; or what worked for your parents when you were a child; or what worked for the child you read about on social media. This journey is about your child and what your child needs.
• Shit happens and life goes on. Even when there’s poop in underpants.
• Sometimes you have to regress before you can make progress.
• It’s a big change and however your child feels about this particular change, they are entitled to those feelings.

Until recently, we were under a deadline. Julian was due to move to upper school at his preschool for camp, so he needed to be potty trained by early June. We have been making slooooow progress on the potty training front, but I was concerned we would not be in poop-free undies by June.

Then Julian’s preschool had a minor problem with asbestos, and the school has closed under summer’s end to make necessary repairs. For most parents, this is a big problem. I am completely sympathetic. But for me, the “catastrophe” of asbestos has actually been a blessing. We don’t have to rush and fight about potty training every day! We can relax. Instead of two months to potty train, we now have five. I know potty training will be conquered by Labor Day.

Of course, now that our potty training deadline has been extended, Julian will probably flip a switch and be ready for undies next week. But such is life. Sometimes, you just need a fresh perspective to make big changes happen.