The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
That’s not the actual dictionary or diagnostic definition of insanity, but I heard it on a podcast, and it’s been resonating with me.
(I was very deliberate just now with my verb tense. I initially wrote “it resonates with me” but I switched to “been resonating” because the more I pay attention to myself, the more I see that I am constantly growing and shifting. So right now, today, the definition resonates with me, and it has been resonating with me for the past few months, but I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.)
I like blogging because it helps me keep track of my personal journey. Maybe a few bread crumbs that I leave behind will help a stranger find their way. Or maybe, it’s enough that I am paying attention to my journey so I can intentionally and consciously take my next steps. My intuition told me to start blogging about my journey, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Right now, breaking up with sugar is a huge part of my journey. As I have written before, I decided on August 5, 2018 to break up with sugar for one hour. I kept extending the fast by one hour increments until lo, eleven days had passed and last week, I decided I could extend the fast for an entire day. For the past five or six days, I’ve been doing that.
Yesterday, I thought I might be ready to extend the fast for an entire week.
Today, I know I am ready to do that. And I’m not simply ready to give up sugar for an entire week, but I feel excited and relieved to take this next step.
Excited by all the health improvements happening to my body.
Relieved that I don’t have to think about sugar for the next week. I have made the decision – I’m not eating sugar for the rest of the week – and boom, the decision has been made and I don’t have to waste any emotional energy on the issue.
I’ve also decided that my week ends on Sunday. So I won’t be eating any refined sugar between now, which is mid-day Tuesday, and the time I go to bed on Sunday. Emotionally, I feel like my week restarts on Monday morning, so that is the logical time for the sugar fast to end and, if it feels right, start anew.
I am feeling confident that this week’s sugar fast will renew into another week-long fast on Monday morning. But I’ll see Monday morning. This is a slow journey, and I’m letting my intuition steer the ship. And right now, my intuition is telling me to patient and wait and see how I feel when I wake up Monday morning.
I can tell that something big is happening. I am changing. But this is not going to be a dramatic overnight transformation.
That feels good. That feels right.