I’ve been writing about my burnout this week, but is that even the right phrase for how I’m feeling? Since January 2023, I have felt drained and depleted and assumed I was burnt out from doing too much volunteering for PTA and AYSO. Intuitively, I believe “burnout” is the right word for my current state of wellness, but let’s take a closer look at what burnout actually means.

Dictionary.com defines “burnout” as:

noun

1. a fire that is totally destructive of something.
2. Also burn-out . fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity.

The first definition is a very poetic way of how I feel after all my dad’s health issues, and the second definition nicely sums how I’ve been feeling this year. I am worn out and fatigued. Physically, I have plenty of energy – though honestly, I’ve been running on fumes for so long, maybe I do have less energy than I should. Mentally, I feel slow, like I’ve lost 20 or 30 IQ points. And I know these feelings resulted from the prolonged stress of my dad’s cancer, my dad’s brain surgeries, and the overwork I subjected myself to in the AYSO and PTA departments.

According to the World Health Organization, there is also a medical diagnosis for burnout:

Here’s the definition of burnout in the ICD-11:

Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterised by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment. Burn-out refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.

After reading the WHO definition of burnout, which is limited to the workplace, I have fallen down a rabbit hole regarding parental burnout. Many browser tabs are now open on my trust MacBook Air! My curiosity is intrigued and the cogs in my head are turning…

What does it mean to be burnt out as a mom?

It turns out that I can’t answer that question in a single blog post, but I would like to do some investigating and dig deeper into this subject.

But I’ll say this: I don’t need a medical diagnosis for the way I currently feel. For me, it’s academically interesting to grapple with these questions, but practically speaking, I know I did too much and now I need to rest and take time for myself. And by “time for myself” I do not mean “a 90 minute massage.” I mean “I need to avoid volunteering for anything extra during the 2023-24 school year in order to heal from my burnout.”