I continued my Brazilian bender this week, but I swear, I HAD to. Mother Gaia will soon be releasing The Posthumous Investigation, a video game inspired by four of Machado’s works– The Posthumous Memoirs of Bras Cubás, Dom Casmurro, Quincas Borba, and The Alienist– and I had to finish Quincas Borba and The Alienist so I can play the game.

This week’s episode was inspired by Quincas Borba, a novel about a man who suddenly comes into a fortune and moves to Rio de Janeiro, where he is swindled by social climbers and avaricious leeches. What follows is a scathing satire of Brazil in the 1800s that dives into lots of interesting themes, engaging the reader in thought-provoking questions about sanity, friendship, wealth, and politics.

Of all those questions, I was most drawn to the theme of friendship, because I have been dealing with Friend Drama for the past year. As I discuss in this week’s episode, I had to distance myself from a friend because our friendship had become a source of stress and anxiety. It was toxic, but I still felt guilty drawing my boundaries.

I recorded about twenty minutes of this episode and then deleted it and started over. Then, when I had to finished episode, I almost decided to just not post an episode this week. That’s a sign that for whatever reason, I really need to share this work I’ve been processing. If it helps someone who is struggling with a friendship, amazing; but I think publishing this episode was of vital importance to my soul. It helped me release some lingering grief over a friendship that had to end even though I will always love that friend and wish her the best.

p.s. Yes, I struggled with hitting publish on these show notes as well. Big breath–here I go!