The Pasadena school year begins in less than two weeks, and in years past, my default setting was to VOLUNTEER FOR ALL THE THINGS at the beginning of the year. But I am now deeply burnt out and adopting my Aunt Claire’s approach to school volunteering.

My Aunt Claire is a busy woman who loves to do things. She has four children, and I went to school with some of them. Aunt Claire was involved. She ran carnivals, room parented, and attended field trips. I assumed she did this every year, relentlessly sacrificing her time in the name of her children’s education.

Wrong!

Aunt Claire volunteered at school every other year. One year, she would run the school carnival. The next, she would not volunteer for anything big. Then she would jump back into the volunteering fold and be a room parent for a year. The next year, she was back on sabbatical. When I learned this, I was amazed for two reasons: (1) she had the audacity to take a year off from volunteering every other year! and (2) being a room mom counted as a major volunteering effort.

I was shocked. I was stunned. I’ve been a room parent for the past five years, and for two of those years, I was a room parent for both kids’ classes. On top of that, I was on the PTA board two years; ran the elementary school book fair once; ran the preschool book fair at least five times; chaperoned field trips; organized art projects; was a referee for AYSO; coached both kids’ soccer teams; was the cookie chair for Pippa’s Girl Scout troop (twice); and last year, promoted myself to troop leader. HOLY SHIT I’M EXHAUSTED JUST WRITING ALL THAT.

I ignored my Aunt Claire’s example for a long time. Until I realized I was overwhelmed, bitter, and burnt out and in dire need of a break. Then I considered her approach and realized, My Aunt Claire is one smart cookie.

I’m embracing my inner Aunt Claire this year and scaling back my volunteer roles. That means no official roles for the PTA. No room parenting. No AYSO commitments. And no book fair!

I will continue my role as Girl Scout leader because if I don’t, the troop dies, and I actually enjoy that work. Also, we have a very low-key troop, so it’s not like I’m organizing constant events and outings and fundraising to take the girls to Europe. We meet monthly and do some crafty shit. Sometimes we attend events organized by our service unit, sometimes not. We didn’t sell cookies last season and it was liberating. The girls are entering 5th grade and then it’s off to middle school, so I suspect this will be the troop’s last year. I’m looking forward to enjoying this one volunteering role.

I will also consider chaperoning a couple of field trips. But I’m not attending any plays! I’ve done that twice and I’m sick of shushing children while watching a mediocre performance.

I miiiiiight even organize a class party if the room parent is not keen on the job, BUT I WILL NOT BE A ROOM MOM.

I might help a bit with fundraising for 5th grade promotion, but I WILL NOT BECOME AN INDENTURED SERVANT HUSTLING TO MAKE MONEY SO THE KIDS CAN GO TO MEDIEVAL SHITTY TIMES.

My intention for the 2023-24 school year is to do less volunteering, especially volunteering that requires “organizing and galvanizing,” and to use my extra time to heal from the stress of doing too much for too long. It’s time to release my inner Aunt Claire and chill the eff out.