If you have been reading my blog during The Great 2020 Adventure, you might think I have been devoted all of my free time during this pandemic to thinking deep and weighty thoughts. I’d like to take a moment (or blog post) to disabuse you of that notion.

Yes, I have been seeking meaning and transformation while sheltering-at-home. I have been letting my emotions race across me like a wildfire, burning away my illusions of control and certainty, laying bare some issues that had been lurking in my subconscious. I value the work of becoming my best self, and this adventure has certainly afforded me with plenty of opportunities to push myself to a higher level.

But most of the time, I am just trying to distract myself from the Covid-19 shit show.

Let’s break down the amount of time I spend on reflection, contemplation, rumination and personal growth:

• I journal every day for about 30 minutes. This is a practice I have been doing for over six years now. It’s the foundation of my mental, emotional and spiritual health. But it’s only a half hour. After 30 minutes, my hand craps out (I journal with pen and paper) and I’m done. And even if I could build up some hand muscles (is this even a thing?), 30 minutes is my ceiling for meaningful journaling. After that, I might as well be writing broccoli wombat furbenny blah.
• I meditate for ten minutes. Eventually, I’d like to meditate for longer but “eventually” is not happening anytime soon.
• I write a blog post, usually in the afternoon, for about 30-60 minutes. Blogging usually only takes 30 minutes but once a week or so, it takes a full hour.
• Most days, I read something in the self-help and spirituality genre. During pre-Corona life, I could easily read one of these books for 2-3 hours if I had enough time. But since we have started sheltering-at-home, I have plenty of time for reading, but I can only read inspirational books for maybe 20 minutes before my brain collapses.
• I also listen to podcasts when I am doing chores and walking alone. I enjoy podcasts like Unlocking Us by Brené Brown and Awesome with Alison, that are helping me process my feelings about and responses to The Great 2020 Adventure. But I can only handle these inspirational podcasts for one hour each day. TOPS. Any longer, and you can actual see the cerebral fluid leaking out of my ears.

Adding it up, I spend 2.5-3 hours every day in “reflection and rumination” mode. But there are 24 hours in a day! Lately, I have been sleeping about nine hours each night (which is at least an hour more than I usually do, but damn, I need my sleep). But I’m awake and conscious for 15 hours every day, and I’m only spending 2.5-3 of those hours thinking, pondering and seeking meaning.

I love The Work of personal growth and transformation. As my kids get older, I can see myself spending more time in this area. But during the pandemic, I have limited mental capacity for deep thought. Most of the time? I just want to be diverted!

My pandemic diversions have included:

• Tiger King on Netflix
• The Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals on YouTube
• Survivor, one of my favorite t.v. shows
• And the list is longer, but my brain is so tired I just can’t remember…
• Oh! I bought myself People magazine at Vons and I think I’m going to buy more magazines because they are just about right for my brain’s attention span.

I was washing dishes an hour ago and thought I should listen to something inspirational but my brain said, No, don’t bother. So I tried the first episode of the Even the Rich podcast, and it was heaven. It was just the right mix of fluff and wit. The hosts are diving into stories about wealthy family dynasties. The first episode was about Harry and Megan and I realized I know very little about the couple. (Are they formerly royal? Royal adjacent? Royal light?) I highly recommend it if you like podcasts and just need some brain candy.

I am going to actively seek out more diversions for my brain. Like right now! I think I have spent more than enough time writing a blog post. It’s time to work on my novel, which is the first book in a fantasy series about a bastard princess who can do magic. It’s a fun distraction, and damnit, right now I need all the fun distractions I can get.

p.s. I just thought of another favorite diversion: #iMomSoHard. I’m going to watch one of their videos now before I turn my attention to my novel. #priorities