Years ago, I read Brenda Ueland’s magnificent book If You Want to Write and that book contained a piece of advice that I have never forgotten: Neglect the housework. This advice is so important, especially now in the middle of a freaking pandemic, that I am going to hop over to Canva and turn it into a fancy graphic. So excuse me, but I’ll be write back …

Okay, whew, I’m back. I know that was like 0.01 seconds for you, but that actually took about 6 minutes for me, mainly because I was playing with the Fade feature, and after settling on the laundry background image, I saw something that looked like colorful sponges, so I switched to the sponges but the sponges actually looked like melted candies, so I went back to the laundry. But I digress! Here’s the advice again, this time in fancy social media format:

Now I realize we are in the middle of a pandemic, and there are concerns about germs. I get it. I am cleaning and sanitizing counters and sinks way more frequently than is my usual habit, which is fairly close to never. (Don’t tell my mother.) (In usual times, I have a cleaning lady and I do clean the counters on occasion.) (Still, don’t tell my mother.)

These days, I am doing more housework than ever. Since we are eating all our meals and snacks at home, we are generating more dishes. Nathan and I decided on pizza for tonight partly so we can catch up on the backlog of dirty pots and pans (but mainly because pizza is awesome). I am also doing laundry every day, washing counters and tables and sinks, and attending to a never-ending stream of tidying. And these chores actually keep me sane. I get this glowing burst of pride in my chest when I shove the last dish in the dishwasher or cram Julian’s clean laundry back into his drawers.

But I could still be doing more. I sweep, and as I sweep, the kids leave a trail of fresh crumbs across the house. Even when they are not eating! I swear, the kids just spontaneously shed crumbs wherever they go. I tidy, and when I turn my back, the mess regroups and launches a fresh assault, I clean the bathroom counter and the next time I wash my hands, the sink is filthy with toothpaste and paint even though I swear we have not painted in at least three days. I could drive myself mad trying to keep up with the housework.

So I am letting it go.

I will keep the house as clean as necessary for Covid-19 purposes, but I am not going to stress over every stray bit of glitter gracing the wood floors. (And sweet heaven, there is so much glitter, Kinetic sand, dried up bits of play dough, someone please stop me because I could keep writing this list all night!) Even though cleaning and tidying give me a sense of satisfaction, my mental health needs more than that little kick of pride I get from a (momentarily) clean countertop.

My mental health needs:

• Meditation
• Journaling
• Walking, oh my god, so much walking
• Blogging (hi!)
• Writing my fantasy novel
• Stretching
• Crafting
• Snuggling with the kids
• Watching Schitt’s Creek with Nathan
• Listening to podcasts
• Learning French on Duolingo
• Talking to friends on the phone
• Reading

If I lose my mind over housework, all those good things above will fall to the wayside; and now more than ever, I need the things that boost my spirits and make my heart soar.

And then, putting aside my self-care efforts, I am also spending an ass shit ton of time taking care of Pippa and Julian. They need meals, snuggles, stories, more snuggles, tickles, and even more snuggles. They need me to get on the ground with them and decorate our sidewalk with chalk. They need long walks and a listening ear, and their mental health is far more important than the state of the floors. (Even though there is so. much. freaking. glitter.)

I will leave you now with two pieces of advice:

1. Neglect the housework! And perhaps more importantly,
2. Do not ever visit my house unless you are willing to leave with bits of glitter on the bottom of your feet/shoes.