Yesterday, I finished listening to the audiobook for Permission to Feel. I learned a lot, and I will probably listen to it again in a few years. As I was finishing up the book, I caught myself thinking, I have screwed up on the feelings front with my kids so many times. And I still have so much to learn. Blerg! I wish I had become a Feelings Master before I had kids!

Then I remembered: my kids are entitled to my mistakes.

My kids will have “issues.” Everyone does. I believe we are all born with “work” we need to do during this lifetime, and the work of becoming our best selves is part of what makes life so fulfilling and magical. I love doing my work. On my best days, I know I will be working to be my best self until the day I die.

Who am I to rob my kids of the work that gives me so much joy and fulfillment?

Now, I am not giving myself a blank check to be an abusive monster. I want to work to be my best self, but even my best self is going to fuck shit up and that is okay. In fact, it’s better than okay: it’s beautiful. I don’t have to be perfect for my kids. I didn’t need to finish all my self-work before I became a mom, because that’s an impossible hurdle. I just have to keep working to be my best self and allow myself to make mistakes and messes.

My kids have a right to do their own work to become their own best selves.

My kids are entitled to my mistakes.