I turned forty last January and can tell my menstrual cycle is shifting gears. I have been tracking my period since I first starting bleeding way back in the sixth grade. Since my very first period, I have always bled quite a bit on Day One of my cycle. But that seems to be changing. My past two cycles, I have bled very lightly for about thirty-six hours and then the bleeding started in earnest.

I honestly do not know if I should count the faint bleeding as Day One or PMS. It feels more like PMS than menstruation. As soon as the faint bleeding starts, I feel a bit like I am crawling out of my skin. I’m impatient, easily irritated, and jumpy. It’s as if my hormones are trying to rev up the engine of my menstrual cycle, but my uterus keeps stalling. Then, as soon as the proper bleeding starts, I feel like a plug has been pulled and all the bad mood feelings drain away.

I need to read more about this! Am I entering perimenopause? I was absolutely blindsided by postpartum depression when I had my first child, and I don’t want that to happen with menopause.

I am forty years old, and I want to consciously and intentionally experience my forties. I want to nurture and honor my body. I want to change my habits so I eat the foods and do the things that help me feel my best. I want to live my life consciously and intentionally so that I can end this decade feeling healthier, stronger and more exuberant than ever.