A little over two weeks ago, my dad had emergency brain surgery and then spent a week and a half in the ICU before having another brain surgery. At least the second procedure was scheduled! He’s doing well and his prognosis is excellent, but it sounds like he needs at least one more brain surgery. Needless to say, this has been a stressful time for my family.
Very soon after my dad’s emergency brain surgery, I caught myself thinking, Shit, I guess I’m going to gain weight now. The following inner monologue ensued:
Me: But I don’t want to gain weight.
Also Me: Yeah but this is how I cope with stress. By eating.
Me: I could change that.
Also me: Nah, let’s have ice cream.
Me: No, I’m serious. I don’t want to use food to cope with my stress anymore.
Also me: [stunned into silence]
Me: I’m going to figure out some other ways to manage my stress.
Also me: So… no ice cream?
Me: Oh we can still have ice cream. For sure. But we’re not going to use an avalanche of ice cream to numb the stress, ok?
Also me: Let me get this straight. We’re going to sometimes have ice cream, because ice cream is amazing, but we’re not going to use ice cream to numb our stress?
Me: Correct.
When I got home from the hospital that day, I was exhausted but determined to find new ways to manage my stress. And you know what? I’ve been coping very well and I’m not using food as an emotional crutch. Silver linings! Instead, I’m using all sorts of other ways to reduce my stress levels, including:
- Intense Cardio: I was traveling from Santa Monica to Pasadena on school days when my dad was in the ICU, leaving not much time for exercise, so I downloaded the Seven App, which has 7 minute workouts that get my heart pounding. Immediate mood boost.
- Meditation: I’m using the Balance app (free ONE YEAR trial!) and loving it. It’s my current favorite way to meditate. I started with five minute sessions and now do a daily 10 minute session. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t have the time to meditate, but really, I don’t have the time to NOT meditate. I feel so much better after each session.
- Fun Movements. I love therapist Tiffany Roe and bought her Feel Deal Heal COPING SKILLS deck at the beginning of this ordeal. I have only looked at a few cards so far. All of have them been helpful, but my favorite is the one that recommends novel movement. At the hospital, there was a little hallway outside the women’s restroom and whenever I was there alone, I did a quick dance move or a few karate chops and kicks. These novel movements really helped me stay in good spirits for my dad.
- Journaling, so I can do a brain dump and write affirmations and recenter myself.
- Face Masks. I have a tendency to be busy-busy-busy, go-go-go, and this wasn’t working for me. So twice a week, I apply a thick face mask and read in bed while moisturizing my face.
- Fresh Air When Possible.
- Hot Yoga. I’ve gone as often as possible. While my dad was in the ICU, I took a couple days off and my only priority was GET MY ASS TO HOT YOGA AND SWEAT OUT THE CRAZY. It helps. It really, really helps.
- Cleaning. Not so much that I wear myself out but wiping down counters really helps me calm down. Especially if I’m listening to a good audiobook. And that feeling I get when I’ve completely cleaned a room? Priceless.
- Knitting. Have needles, will travel. I knit several inches of a baby blanket in the ICU and hospital cafeteria.
These things are keeping my stress within manageable limits, but I think my internal decision to not use food to numb my stress has really helped me handle my dad’s emergency brain surgery in ways that are best for me.