This morning, while I was getting the kids ready for school, my period arrived. I thought three things in rapid succession:
- What? Already?
- At least that explains why I’m tired.
- Hell yes, I picked the best day to schedule a massage.
Last night, I felt deeply tired, like the sort of fatigue that settles in your marrow. I slept beautifully but when I woke up, the fatigue was still there. I figured I was worn out after a few busy days, or was coming down with another cold. It never occurred to me that I was about to get my period, because (a) my PMS prefers to dabble in insomnia, mood swings and cramps and (b) today was supposed to be Day 20 of my cycle.
But my period likes to be mysterious, and has never been regular, so I don’t know why it keeps surprising me. On the bright side, it keeps me on my toes!
I decided it was time to analyze my recent menstrual cycles and luckily had information going back to May 2022 readily available in my Notes App. Between May 4, 2022 and January 24, 2023, my cycles have been all over the freaking place:
- First, a 51 day cycle that started on May 4 and coincided with reducing my Zoloft dose – coincidental?
- Then a 26 day cycle,
- A 29 day cycle,
- And a 28 day cycle — concluding three months, from June 24-September 16, when my menstrual cycle pretended it was regular and predictable.
- Then an 18 day cycle,
- A 38 day cycle,
- A 22 day cycle,
- A 32 day cycle,
- And finally, a 19 day cycle, because my menstrual cycle refuses to be pinned down to a schedule and enjoys being wildly erratic.
This is why I never leave home without a stash of tampons and pads.
I also keep track of my flow. Once again, my period likes to keep me on my toes. Day 2 is typically my day of heaviest bleeding, but in September, November, and January, Day 2 was what I describe as only “moderate flow.” In September, after a “normal” 28 day cycle, my period was super light. I only bled for three days, and never heavily. Then in October, after a quick 18 day cycle, my period returned with a vengeance. Not only did I experience heavy flow on Days 1 and 2, but on Day 5, which is typically very light, my flow was back up to moderate.
Long story short: what the fuck?
It’s time for me to read more about perimenopause and menopause. Those changes/events/transitions might be several years away for me, but I want to enter this next stage of my life consciously and intentionally. I ordered this book off Amazon and will report back soon.
p.s. I actually did have a massage this morning, and it was divine.