Full disclosure: My daughter LOVES selling Girl Scout cookies. It’s probably her favorite part about being a Girl Scout. And I think it’s a great confidence builder, getting out there and asking friends, neighbors and teachers if they want to buy some Thin Mints.

But there are some issues.

I do not love that in the Los Angeles Council, troops need to participate in the Fall Product fundraising (selling shitty nuts) and sell Girl Scout cookies before they can participate in other types of fundraising. What about making friendship bracelets and selling them for $1? Just so the girls get the experience of designing and marketing a product? I find these restrictions on fundraising especially slimy because the top three executives in Los Angeles are paid in excess of $200,000, and those fat salaries come from Girl Scout cookies peddled by cute little girls.

Girl Scouts is an organization that empowers girls. This is awesome! Yeah, girl power! Yet the business of selling Girl Scout cookies is largely powered by parental volunteer hours, and though I know some dads help, the burden is mostly carried by moms. What message does this send? Girls are awesome but once you become a mom, you should pour your soul into volunteering at the expense of your sanity?

Then there’s the way the business of selling cookies whips girls and parents into a frenzy. In 2021, when there were cookies shortages, parents did not behave well. I attended a Zoom session for cookie chairs and watched in amazement as moms lost their minds because their daughters were not going to be able to earn some shitty prize. Cookie season fires up my daughter’s competitive spirit and she gets worried that the neighbors across the street (six daughters, four are Girl Scouts) are going to “steal” her customers.

Then there’s the way selling cookies exposes girls to diet culture. I’ve seen it happen. The girls are outside a grocery store, selling cookies, and customers says, “I can’t, I’m on a diet.” Diet culture is pervasive, but this article drew my attention to some issues I’ve never considered so now, when comments like that get made, I can have an honest conversation with my daughter and the girls in our troop.

All in all, I think the pros of selling Girl Scout cookies outweigh the cons, but by becoming aware of these issues, I can address them with my daughter and turn the dark side of Girl Scout cookies into a positive learning experience.

Yes! The podcast is back! I’m 45 and ready to kick ass during the second half of my forties.

My original post introducing Project 24 in ’24 is over here.

And my post recapping my Project 23 in ’23 is yonder.

At the beginning of last year, I picked 23 projects that I wanted to tackle in 2023. I knew at the outset I would not finish all 23 projects, but it’s fun to see what sticks and what doesn’t. Let’s see how it went!

1. Attend fifty hot yoga classes: I attended my 50th class on October 2 and finished the year strong with a total of 70 classes. Go, me! (This year I’m excited to attend 100 classes.)
2. Track what I eat for 30 days in a row: I completed this in January. 
3. Drink at least 64 oz of water/day for 30 days in a row: Ditto.
4. Publish my second novel: Yes! I published Once Upon An Anxious Mom in December.

5. Read 100 books for myself: I read 110 books. I think about 68 of these were audiobooks.

6. Try 23 new recipes: I tried 11 new recipes in total. I’m trying again this year with my 24 in ’24 project.

7. Cook with mushrooms 23 times: I cooked with mushrooms four times, but Nathan, inspired by my efforts, starting roasting mushrooms often when he grills steak. So mission accomplished: mushrooms are part of our life.

8. Bake 23 loaves of bread: I baked one loaf. Lol.

9. Make 23 different buttons with my button maker: I imagined that I would design and make 23 buttons for myself. What ended up happening was I used my button maker at different events during the year — the school’s Welcome Back Fair, my niece’s birthday party, a Girl Scout meeting, a Girl Scout pumpkin patch — and made over 100 buttons during the year. I didn’t design them, but I am now a pro with the button maker. Mission accomplished!

10. Finish 23 craft projects (not including buttons): I completed 15, but some were big, like crocheting Christmas stockings for the kids. I’m trying this one again in my 24 in ’24.

11. Watch 12 different Creativebug classes: I watched one. So I just stopped working on this post and cancelled my subscription. I can rejoin whenever I have the time or inclination.

12. Draw 12 times: I drew seven times. It’s not my main crafting/artistic outlet.

13. Play 23 different board/card games: I got so close! I made it to 20 different boardgames and was going to play three games on December 31, but then I was so completely gassed from the holidays and a cold, I spent the day lounging in bed instead. But I’m giving myself a Win on this one because I played a ton of games multiple times, and the kids and I got into the habit of playing boardgames and card games together.

14. Watch 23 movies with my kids: We watched sixteen movies together. A decent chunk! Half credit.

15. Write 23 blog posts: I did this and then some! I think of blogging as something I do for myself. If I end up attracting readers who enjoy my work and buy my books, fantastic! But that’s not the objective. This is a practice that helps me reflect and live my life intentionally.

16. Visit 23 new places: I completed this goal early in 2023 and I’ve noticed that visiting new places is definitely good for my soul. My cavewoman ancestors were the ones who strayed far away from the cave and found new streams and date trees and shit like that. I’m not content staying at home 24/7.

17. Go on 12 hikes: I went on three hikes. I realize I have a couple of impediments on this front: my kids play sports, so our weekends are busy; and I love hot yoga, so that eats up a lot of my exercise time during the week. But the three hikes I went on filled up my soul so this year, I’m endeavoring to get 52 mega doses of nature.

18. Do 23 things I have never done before: I did this! This might make a good podcast episode…

19. Finish decluttering the house!  I’m giving myself an A+ here because I made so much freaking progress. Most importantly, I gutted and reclaimed our garage and basement (just one room, but more than most Californians have). I learned along the way that decluttering is not an end goal but a state of mind. I have to keep decluttering throughout the year, especially with growing kids.

20. Indulge my inner child 23 times: Mission accomplished! Highlights include making fudge, having Lucky Charms for breakfast in March, getting passes to Universal Studios, and starting tennis lessons in August.

21. Publish 12 podcast episodes: I published 6 episodes, but I did get back into podcasting and like blogging, it’s a practice that helps me feel like my best self. This year, I’m attempting 24 podcast episode in ’24. I think it will be easier to hit the higher number because I’ll build momentum and procrastinate less.

22. Attend 12 live performances: Done! And damn, I saw some amazing shows. This was so good for my soul.

23. Spend 20 hours gardening: Done, and then some.

I completed thirteen of these projects and nearly finished #13, so WOOT WOOT.

Lessons learned: I’m not the bread baker I thought I was but I do love boardgames.

Another year, another project! Instead of resolutions, I like to concoct lists of projects that I hope to complete during the new year. I got this idea from one of my favorite podcasts, Happier With Gretchen Rubin, and I’ve been doing it since 2022. I need to do a recap soon of my 23 in ’23, but I wanted to post my 24 in ’24 before we get too deep into 2024. Without further ado:

1. No soda or caffeine. I broke up with caffeine (for about the millionth time) last summer, but I continued drinking caffeine-free diet soda, and ugh, I’m sick of that habit. I want to see how healthy I feel without diet soda.
2. Take an introductory class at a rock climbing gym.
3. Read 100 books. Bonus points: read at least 25 books for Project Read Around the World.
4. Attend 100 hot yoga classes. This includes the hot pilates classes offered at my studio if I decide to expand my repertoire. Also, my studio offers streaming classes that were recorded during the Covid shutdowns, and if I take those classes outside in the heat while traveling, I’ll count those to my goal.
5. Write the rough draft of my third novel. This can be either the third book in The Motherhood Circus series or a children’s chapter book. Stay tuned!
6. Paint a room in our house. Or the front door. Or a mural on the bleak bare wall that’s out back by our lemon tree. Point is: paint something at home.
7. Try 24 new recipes. My goal was to try 23 recipes in 2023 and that didn’t happen, but I’d like to give this another go.
8. Record an audiobook. This is a longterm career goal. Hopefully putting it on this list will motivate me to take the time to learn how to record an audiobook and then invest the time in that project.
9. Get 52 mega nature doses. Taking a neighborhood walk does not count. Things that do count: hikes; beach days; walks through botanical gardens; anything that gets me out of City Mode and into the healing presence of Mother Nature.
10. Make a five year plan. Seems like the time to do this is ripe because I’m turning 45 tomorrow, and holy shit, in five years I will turn FIFTY.
11. Complete 24 craft projects. This is another do-ever from 2023. I didn’t finish 23 craft projects last year, but I had fun trying. Let’s see what happens this year.
12. Help the kids prepare a family meal once a month. Each kid gets to pick a recipe and prepare it for dinner or breakfast.
13. Plan a family trip to the Grand Canyon. I’ve learned that the best months to visit are March-May and that hotels can get booked a year in advance, so I want to do the research now so I can make it happen in 2025.
14. Get 24 minutes of fresh air every day. Last year, Gretchen Rubin challenged her community of podcast listeners to get 23 minutes of fresh air, and I really liked that idea, but I never got momentum on it. (Probably because my dad was in the ICU for 10 days in February.) I’d like to do it this year, and so far, it’s been a helpful reminder to get my butt outside. Fresh air feeds the soul.
15. Tap dance 20 times. I think this was on my list in 2022? I always imagine myself tap dancing. Damnit, let’s make it happen.
16. Walk an average of 10,000 steps/day. On days that I practice hot yoga, I typically get 7000-8000 steps. This goal has been motivating me to walk extra to make up the deficit on hot yoga days.
17. Record 25 podcast episodes.
18. Create a TikTok 100 weekdays in a row (though if I actually make a weekend TikTok, that will count toward the streak)
19. Visit the Gamble House.
20. Take monthly family portraits.
21. Learn how to make balloon animals.
22. Visit The Broad.
23. Track time spent sitting vs. time spent standing for a month.
24. Joy Tracking! Wherein I keep track of things that boost my wellness and happiness but are not part of this project (e.g. boardgames played; movies watched; new places visited)

It’s October and nearly Halloween, and this year, I’m thinking a lot about witches. People tend to think of witches as evil but I love stories that reclaim witches and allow them to be good, strong and powerful. Why must a woman who practices magic be considered evil? Is the idea of the evil witch in the woods just another tool for controlling women, keeping them in line and fitting into the patriarchy’s mold? Let’s save the witches from patriarchal stereotypes because bitches love witches.

In this episode, I discuss stories I’ve enjoyed that feature witches who break out of the stereotype of witches as evil crones. The classic wicked witch is the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz, but Gregory Maguire gives us a more complicated “heroine” in his book Wicked, and then the musical Wicked fully redeems Elphaba.

Other witchy books I’ve recently enjoyed and highly recommend:

• VenCo by Cherie Dimaline
• The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
• Her Majesty’s Royal Coven, by Juno Dawnson
• The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow 

This week, I explore the question, Why do women love true crime? I myself listen to true crime podcasts and often wonder, Why do I love listening to these stories? And perhaps, more importantly: does my interest in true crime suggest some sort of moral deficiency on my part?

Here are the reasons I discuss on Episode 39 of Adventures With My Forties:

• Catharsis: True crime stories address our fears of what could happen and rage for what has been done. We get to tap into our feelings of suppressed rage and fear.
• The village of women coming together: Violent crimes are mostly committed against women. True crime stories allow us to shine light on this darkness and bond against the creeps and monsters.
• Empathy: Women are empathetic and connect with the victim. But also, I try to fathom how the culprit went from “an innocent baby” to a “monster who could commit such heinous crimes.”
• Collective search for justice: If we work together and share information, we can bring these monsters to justice and hopefully persuade would-be-killers that it’s too dangerous to commit these crimes. We are watching! We are not afraid to turn you in! . 
• Subliminal feeling of evading death: I don’t think this reason explains why I listen to true crime podcasts, but this might resonate with you.
• Vicarious thrill: Ditto. I prefer to get my thrills on rollercoasters, thank you very much.
• Police accountability: Do your job! Protect the victims!
• Helping police: Police have limited resources and tips solve crimes.
• Reminder to be vigilant: Sometimes you have to be rude to creepy people and defy social norms when your gut is telling you that a situation is off. Just last night, I taught this lesson to my daughter. We were leaving a Girl Scout event at 9:30 p.m. in an unincorporated neighborhood without street lights and someone was sleeping on the parkway near our car. Pippa commented that she felt bad walking away from the person, and I gave her a pep talk, telling her that our safety is more important than a stranger’s feelings. True crime podcasts remind me all the things I need to teach my daughter to navigate the world safely as a woman.

So why do I, a forty-four-year old woman, listen to true crime podcasts? Because, for all the reasons listed above, it’s empowering. Lots of people think its weird or morbid that women enjoy true crime–I wonder what those same people think about men who participate in Civil War reenactments? If it’s important to study war in history classes, then it’s also important to study violent crimes that are predominantly committed against women so we can grow stronger and reduce these crimes as much as possible. We tell these stories not for lurid entertainment but to crush conduct that is unacceptable.

Currently, my favorite true crime podcast is Crime Junkie. Recently, I’ve also enjoyed Scamanda and The Girlfriends. I have no plans to launch a true crime podcast of my own — but who knows? Crazier things have happened.

I did it! This morning, I finished revising my second novel, Once Upon An Anxious Mom. I’ve officially entered the homestretch for publication!

Here’s my plan:

• I’m on Official Writing Break for three and a half weeks.
• After my break, I’ll reread my editor’s memo and see if I missed any big revisions she suggested. (I don’t think I did, but I might understand something better when my brain is fresh.)
• I’ll format the text messages and emails in the novel.
• Then I’ll read the book out loud, slowly, and proofread as I go.
• If I like what I read, I’ll upload to Vellum and format for publication.
• Then I’ll upload my files to Amazon and order an author’s copy of the paperback. I’ll read my novel in book form and seek out any proofreading buggers I missed.
• And that’s it! I’ll publish!

It feels so good to be on writing break after pouring myself into revisions. So what am I going to do for the next three and a half weeks?

Obviously, I won’t write. That part of my brain needs to rest and recharge. I will, however, write in my journal because that is more of a mental health practice than a writing exercise (and if I stopped journaling for three+ weeks, I’d go bat shit). I will probably also blog, because that organizes my thoughts and helps me relax. Like journaling, blogging uses a different part of my brain than “the serious pretentious business of novel writing.” (I’m making fun of myself there, if that’s not abundantly clear. I honestly don’t know if my self-deprecating humor is coming through because my brain is tired!)

I’ll let my brain rest and recharge by doing things that don’t use my Novel Writing Brain Cells. These are my schemes and ambitions:

• Declutter, Deep Clean the House and Garden. If I only do one thing during the next three+ weeks, let it be this. Spoiler alert: if I blog, it will be about my work to reclaim the house.
• Enjoy Time With Family and Friends. It’s October! Halloween is coming, and Julian’s birthday is November 2. Tomorrow, I’m taking the kids to Universal Studios. On November 2, we are surprising the kids with a trip to California Adventure. Then we have the school carnival, Girl Scout pumpkin patch, trick-or-treating, etc. etc. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN DAMNIT!
• Prep For The Holidays and Julian’s Birthday Party. Order party supplies and decorations. Get birthday and Christmas gifts. Maybe design a Christmas card? I’ll make a Holiday Plan Of Attack next week and see what I can get done early so I can soak up the holidays with my family and friends.
• Record A Few Podcast Episodes. If the spirit moves me.
• Get yarn and start crocheting Christmas stockings for the kids.
• Learn how to use Midjourney. Work on designing the cover for Once Upon An Anxious Mom. See if AI helps.
• Bake. Bread. Cookies. Cake. Repeat.
• Paint. Maybe something abstract in a sketch book. Or maybe the kitchen chairs. This isn’t a priority. Decluttering and deep cleaning is.

If I finish decluttering and deep cleaning, I will take myself on an artist date or two. See a movie. But if that doesn’t happen, I’ll save those activities for the next writing break.

I am nearly done revising my second novel, Once Upon An Anxious Mom, and now my baby needs a cover. This will be my fourth published book, and I feel comfortable designing my cover.

For my first book, Adventures With Postpartum Depression, I hired a cover designer on Reedsy. This was 2018, and I paid $805 for this design:

I love this cover! It perfectly expresses the vibe of my memoir, and it was totally worth the expense. At the time, I had a two-year-old and five-year-old and lacked the bandwidth to attempt my own design.

But for my second book, The Distance Learning Activity Book For Parents Just Barely Holding On To Their Last Shred of Sanity, I didn’t want to spend $805 for a cover. I played around on Canva and posted my designs on Facebook; hated everything; tried again but this time only sent my designs to a trusted friend; and hit upon the winner.

I love this cover! And it was free, except for the cost of my monthly subscription to Canva Pro. (And really, I could have designed the cover without Canva Pro, but I used the premium subscription to create the book’s content.)

For my first novel, Confessions of an Imposter Room Mom, I debated whether I would hire a cover designer through Reedsy or use Canva to design something myself. Ultimately, I decided I didn’t want to shell out big bucks for a cover until I’ve published several books in my series. Then, I can hire a professional to design covers for the entire series in one swoop for a cohesive look.

But I didn’t trust myself to design a novel’s cover! So I compromised and hired someone on Fiverr. I paid someone about $25 and three days later, I had several shitty designs. Lesson learned. You get what you pay for, and $25 gets about five minutes attention from a book cover designer.

I returned to Canva and with the advice of my one trusted friend, I designed my own cover again.

And you know what? I love it! It completely captures the feeling of that novel and it’s good enough for now.

Now it’s nearly time to publish the second book in that series, so I’m rolling up my sleeves and diving back into Canva, but this time, I’m leveling up my game with AI.

That’s right. I’ll be enlisting our robot overloads to help me design a bitching cover. I might not use AI-generated images, but when I go on writing break, I plan to play around with Midjourney and hopefully create some images that I can incorporate into the cover. I’ll probably design the final product on Canva and bounce ideas off my trusted friend. Stay tuned!

1. My kids always come home with excessive amounts of homework on days they have soccer practice.
2. Both my kids want my help and it’s a real bitch flip-flopping between second grade math and fifth grade social studies.
3. Plus they changed math.
4. How do we go through so many pencils?
5. The neighbors across the street are homeschooling, so while my kids trudge through the homework grind, the kids across the street are frolicking and laughing loudly.
6. I cannot empathize how much I hate second grade math.
7. My son’s teacher sends home a weekly packet and so help me god, there are always extra pages during a four-day week.
8. Research shows that elementary school homework has no academic benefit to kids. So that’s great.
9. Kids need downtime, not busywork.
10. I think my second grader learns more from Minecraft than he does from the shitty math worksheets created by the shitty math textbook our district uses.